Thursday, April 16, 2009

Easter Lessons #1: Chocolate is a gift from God

Easter by definition (or according to the ever awesome and amazingly up to date Wikipedia) is "the most important annual religious feast in the Christian liturgical year." I have no idea what liturgical means (another online search tells me it means "of or pertaining to formal public worship") but what I can tell you is that I know it's about Jesus. And to over 2 billion people, Jesus was the coolest kid in mandals back in the day.
All my knowledge of Jesus and Easter has been gathered from old Hollywood movies rented from the local library. The ones where the men show leg in short tunics while the women have intense hairstyles and everything is super colorful. Seriously, who needs Sunday school when you can watch muscly men be withered and schooled by God and his boy in technicolor? I once went to Sunday school with my neighbor and was not enlightened at all. In a room of white kids, I discovered that they hated Sunday school and made paper airplanes during bible reading.
My family is not included within the 2 billion plus of Jesus fans, but Easter still has had an impact on me throughout my life. As a child, it gave me a day off from school every year. During this time I also learned that Christians have a holiday that is all about candy! Chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies, chocolate covered this and chocolate covered that...chocolate chocolate chocolate! WTF! They even come in a basket. Baskets are so obsolete, the word looks wrong just typing it.
So, if Easter is about Jesus aka religion, and kids get candy aka chocolate on that day, then chocolate in itself is a Holy food? No? Yes?

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