Starting My Year the Way Its Usually Ended

The end of each year brings about numerous top (insert number) lists. So why not begin it with a top ten resolutions goals for 2012?

1. Be awesome (Really)
2. Be fluent in Mandarin (Really)
3. Stop eating for two when I am only one (Throwing away that pizza box)
4. Stop using soy sauce in every dish I cook (or find suitable replacement)
5. Eat salad (This one rides the fence as I find that salads depress me)
6. Exercise (At least to the point where I am not out of breath after one flight of stairs)
7. Punch someone who deserves it (This will be one of those opportunity presents deals)
8. Speak slower (Less Scorcese more Cleveland)
9. Get better eyes (LasEk)
10. Get paid more so I can get better eyes (Dem some expensive eyes)

I recently learned that I have the eyeballs of a decrepit senior citizen. So I need to be much more cautious and caring towards my only source of vision. (Until they develop those Geordi La Forge visors) The people at the Lasik office were pretty clear that my eyes look like the cornea version of the before in a Dove commercial. So now I will be confined to my stylishly Kim Jong Il, Chanel brand glasses until I am able to physically have the surgery. (I'm suffering so greatly aren't I?)

Happy 2012 blogosphere!